Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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