I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
