i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
