I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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