Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
