I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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