i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
