miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize