Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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