Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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