Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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