I want to have your abortion
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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