I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
