I've blown a few things in my day
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
