Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
