I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
