You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
