So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
