i don't like sucking hair
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
