I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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