I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
