What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
