"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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