I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
