farters have to be the big spoon...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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