You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
