Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
