i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
