So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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