ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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