I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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