wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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