omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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