Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
