just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
