Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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