...so i touched it.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
