Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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