haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
