new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
