dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dick very happy bro
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
