You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
