Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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