There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
