She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
