morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
