did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
