We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
