I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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