So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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