I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
