That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
