Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
